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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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00:00:39,509 --> 00:00:41,070
And also Buckingham Palace
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00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:42,869
have been in touch to ask
if we can have another look
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00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,270
at their firewall because
the queen's still receiving
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00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:46,070
pop-ups for erectile dysfunction.
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00:00:46,109 --> 00:00:48,670
I once took one of
those tablets by mistake.
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- Did it work?
- Yes.
8
00:00:51,350 --> 00:00:53,229
Happy Valentine's Day.
9
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,990
Oh. Are they all yours?
10
00:00:55,030 --> 00:00:57,469
No. A lot of these are
international arrest warrants.
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I just didn't want to miss anything.
12
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Oh. Anything in there
with my name on it?
13
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- Why? What did you do?
- Oh, God, no. Nothing.
14
00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:05,869
It's just me and Charlotte from GCHQ
15
00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:07,869
been having had a little bit of
e-mail back and forth recently.
16
00:01:07,910 --> 00:01:11,029
Is that the tall girl
with mad cow disease?
17
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No. Who's that?
18
00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,830
- Morning, everyone.
- Oh, shit. Did someone die?
19
00:01:14,869 --> 00:01:16,910
Yes, about 80 million people.
20
00:01:16,949 --> 00:01:19,229
This week, we're celebrating 76 years
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since the end of World War II.
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By dressing as Hitler and his dentist.
23
00:01:24,630 --> 00:01:26,869
Wait. I have to wear
this for a whole week?
24
00:01:26,910 --> 00:01:28,509
Yes.
25
00:01:28,550 --> 00:01:31,630
This is a Women's Auxiliary
Air Force pilot's uniform,
26
00:01:31,669 --> 00:01:34,029
used to belong to
your great-grandmother.
27
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Wow, so your grandmother could fly.
28
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Yeah. Does that surprise you?
29
00:01:38,350 --> 00:01:40,169
No. I just didn't
know women were allowed
30
00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:41,509
to fly planes back then.
31
00:01:41,550 --> 00:01:43,589
I'd worry about how safe that was.
32
00:01:43,630 --> 00:01:45,910
Lots of kamikaze pilots were women.
33
00:01:45,949 --> 00:01:48,509
Exactly, because they're
the best at crashing.
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00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:50,389
Also, I was very pleased to see
35
00:01:50,429 --> 00:01:52,869
that last week's Hinkley Point success
36
00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:56,429
featured heavily on page
3 of the "Telegraph."
37
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Wait. Why wasn't I
asked to pose for that?
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00:01:58,470 --> 00:01:59,949
It's not that sort of paper.
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00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:03,229
What they didn't report
is that, despite GCHQ
40
00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:05,669
regaining full control of Eternal Blue,
41
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:09,070
a hybrid weapon is already
being rebuilt by the Russians
42
00:02:09,109 --> 00:02:13,750
with the capacity to disrupt air traffic
control services across the globe.
43
00:02:13,789 --> 00:02:15,389
Gosh.
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00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:17,229
That's exactly what
happens in "Die Hard 2."
45
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Did they even mention me
by name in the article or...
46
00:02:19,709 --> 00:02:21,150
No.
47
00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:24,269
Here at GCHQ, we prefer
individuals to remain anonymous.
48
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,470
Well, it's certainly working.
49
00:02:26,509 --> 00:02:29,549
By the way, who are you talking
to at the NSA about this?
50
00:02:29,590 --> 00:02:31,509
- Aled Jones.
- "The Snowman"?
51
00:02:31,549 --> 00:02:34,669
Well, if you want Jonesy and
me to put our heads together,
52
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I'm sure we can locate these guys.
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00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,789
Besides, I'd love to
take a crack at saving
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00:02:38,830 --> 00:02:41,749
the whole world, not
just this little island.
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00:02:41,789 --> 00:02:43,950
Well, we can discuss
that with Rupert later,
56
00:02:43,990 --> 00:02:46,430
but personally, I feel your ego
57
00:02:46,469 --> 00:02:48,349
may prove to be too
much of a distraction.
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00:02:48,390 --> 00:02:50,950
Oh, come on, Chris.
Give me a little credit.
59
00:02:50,990 --> 00:02:54,749
It's not always gonna be about...
Oh, my God, are those for me?
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00:02:54,789 --> 00:02:56,710
Yeah. They've just arrived.
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00:02:56,749 --> 00:02:59,189
Wow.
62
00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:01,710
Oh, what?
63
00:03:03,189 --> 00:03:08,349
Oh, my this is so
embarrassing. Thank you so much.
64
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:09,950
They're not from me.
65
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:12,110
No, but still, I mean,
it's just so sweet of you
66
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,550
to give me these flowers.
67
00:03:13,589 --> 00:03:15,150
They're not from me.
68
00:03:15,189 --> 00:03:16,550
No. I know, but the way
you handed them to me
69
00:03:16,589 --> 00:03:17,589
was just so sweet.
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00:03:17,629 --> 00:03:19,029
- Can I go?
- Yeah.
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00:03:19,069 --> 00:03:20,390
I don't even remember your name.
72
00:03:20,430 --> 00:03:25,869
Wow. Oh, these are incredible.
73
00:03:25,909 --> 00:03:27,749
Thank you. Look, a card.
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00:03:27,789 --> 00:03:29,950
Did I not even get, like,
an arrest warrant, then?
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00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:32,549
So sorry, buddy.
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00:03:32,689 --> 00:03:36,789
"To Jerry. Mwah!
Love... " question mark.
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I just want to say, if
the person who got me these
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00:03:40,349 --> 00:03:45,309
happens to be in this room,
from the bottom of my heart...
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00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:50,430
Thank you.
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00:03:50,469 --> 00:03:52,589
Surely, you're not serious.
81
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:09,629
Yeah?
82
00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:11,349
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up. I'm busy.
83
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,920
Oh, not much. Oh!
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00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:16,480
I'm just a little bit lonely and bored.
85
00:04:16,519 --> 00:04:18,040
Do you mind if I sniff your flowers?
86
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No. Knock yourself out.
87
00:04:19,639 --> 00:04:22,400
Oh, this is something.
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Very nice.
89
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,759
You know these weren't from me, yeah?
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00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,480
I just didn't know if you were
expecting a Valentine's gift
91
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:47,999
just because we used to be married.
92
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,480
No, and listen.
93
00:04:49,519 --> 00:04:51,079
I'd rather you didn't
keep using that phrase
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00:04:51,119 --> 00:04:53,960
"used to be married" because
it kind of makes it sound
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00:04:53,999 --> 00:04:55,999
like it was for real, OK?
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00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,280
Right. What would you
prefer I use, then,
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00:04:58,319 --> 00:05:00,119
"sort of recently separated"?
98
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,679
- Again, I just don't think...
- "Widows?"
99
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,319
- You know what?
- I'd be up for that.
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00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,439
How about you don't
refer to it ever again?
101
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,759
OK. You know, I'll try.
102
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,920
OK.
103
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,119
So you're not even a bit curious
104
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,759
as to who they're from?
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00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,840
Yeah. I'm kind of busy
protecting all mankind
106
00:05:16,879 --> 00:05:19,079
right now, so...
107
00:05:26,079 --> 00:05:27,920
I guess I was just secretly hoping
108
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,439
that, you know, you wouldn't
get anything, either,
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and then we could be lonely together.
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You know what I mean?
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Oh, my God, I almost forgot.
112
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Look what just arrived from... for
you in the internal mail system.
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- Oh, my God.
- I know. Go open it.
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00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,240
Oh, my God, oh, is this from you?
115
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,040
Are you kidding?
116
00:05:49,079 --> 00:05:51,920
You think I'd, what, get you a
Valentine's Day card out of pity?
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I wouldn't hold it against you.
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No. I'm not that nice.
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00:05:54,559 --> 00:05:55,840
Oh, swear on your life.
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I swear on your life, buddy.
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00:05:58,079 --> 00:06:00,319
Oh, my God.
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00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:06,199
"Hey, sexy... " comma, "stay
amazing. Kiss," full stop.
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00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,119
- There.
- Aww.
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00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,720
My God, do you think it's
from Charlotte, maybe?
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00:06:11,759 --> 00:06:14,480
- Could be.
- Ohh...
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But actually, we've never met.
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So?
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Well, so she's not really
had the full experience.
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00:06:19,519 --> 00:06:20,759
- Right. Yeah.
- Yeah.
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00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,400
Still, it's possible.
131
00:06:22,439 --> 00:06:23,840
Yeah. Maybe I'll just text her and ask.
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00:06:23,879 --> 00:06:25,879
No. Don't. No. Don't do that.
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No?
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Nope, because what if it isn't?
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- Mm.
- Right, and if it is,
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You don't want her
knowing that you know.
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00:06:35,199 --> 00:06:37,240
Maybe I'll just get
handwriting analysis done, then.
138
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:38,480
No. What? Where?
139
00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:39,879
Here. It's downstairs.
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00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,040
No, absol... No, absolutely not.
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00:06:42,079 --> 00:06:44,759
Do not to that. OK. Well, listen, buddy.
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00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,079
Right now, that card
could be from anyone.
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00:06:48,119 --> 00:06:51,240
It's almost more fun not
knowing who it's from.
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00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,439
What's your wildest fantasy?
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00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,639
Meeting someone who could fly.
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00:06:55,679 --> 00:06:57,840
No. I mean, if that
card could be from anyone
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00:06:57,879 --> 00:06:59,759
in the world, who would
you want it to be from?
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00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,639
I guess it'd be a toss-up
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00:07:01,679 --> 00:07:03,960
between David Attenborough and
Princess Jasmine from "Aladdin."
150
00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:05,840
- The live action or...
- The cartoon.
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00:07:05,879 --> 00:07:08,559
- The cartoon. There you go.
- Yeah.
152
00:07:17,199 --> 00:07:19,119
- Hey.
- You all right?
153
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,720
Yeah.
154
00:07:20,759 --> 00:07:22,240
I have a handwriting
sample that needs analyzing.
155
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,160
I was told you were
the best person to ask.
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00:07:24,199 --> 00:07:26,079
Case number?
157
00:07:26,119 --> 00:07:27,639
Right. Yeah.
158
00:07:27,679 --> 00:07:29,400
It hasn't actually been
assigned a number yet.
159
00:07:29,439 --> 00:07:30,840
Why not?
160
00:07:30,879 --> 00:07:32,400
I know it's gonna sound really weird,
161
00:07:32,439 --> 00:07:33,720
but I think they've just run out.
162
00:07:33,759 --> 00:07:35,240
They've run out of numbers?
163
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,800
Well, no, not run out.
164
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,879
I think they've just used
them all up on other cases.
165
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,280
I don't know if you've
ever had that happen before.
166
00:07:41,319 --> 00:07:43,160
Who is the supervising
officer on the case?
167
00:07:43,199 --> 00:07:44,759
I can touch via scope here.
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00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:48,559
Right. Yes. Gosh, I'm
so bad with names...
169
00:07:50,079 --> 00:07:51,879
and there are so many now, aren't there?
170
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,199
- There's only 4.
- There's only 4?
171
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,639
Oh. Seemed like...
172
00:07:56,679 --> 00:08:01,240
Well, I'm guessing...
173
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,439
ma-male.
174
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,360
- White?
- Yeah, probably. I mean...
175
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,840
Or not. Or not.
176
00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:09,600
I mean, you know, they
could've been more like...
177
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:12,519
or, you know... or the
color of this folder or not.
178
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,800
Well, there are no blue
supervising officers.
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00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,079
And I think that is so bad nowadays.
180
00:08:18,119 --> 00:08:19,600
Are you taking the piss?
181
00:08:19,639 --> 00:08:21,119
Oh, no. God, no. No.
182
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,040
I just, you know... I'm
on your side, obviously.
183
00:08:23,079 --> 00:08:25,119
- What side's that, then?
- I'm like you, aren't I?
184
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,600
You're a Black woman?
185
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,280
Well, no, not quite, but I'm half.
186
00:08:28,319 --> 00:08:29,920
- Are you half a Black woman?
- I'm just a complete mix.
187
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,360
- Of black and blue.
- Of Black and white.
188
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,039
Oh, so you're gray.
189
00:08:35,879 --> 00:08:39,279
So I have a handwriting
sample that needs analyzing.
190
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,680
Oh, God.
191
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,560
Please don't tell me those are for me.
192
00:08:46,999 --> 00:08:49,840
No. No, of course not. These are mine.
193
00:08:49,879 --> 00:08:51,560
You've got another bunch of flowers?
194
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,080
No. This is the same bunch.
195
00:08:53,119 --> 00:08:55,279
I just didn't want to
leave them lying around.
196
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,080
It's just not safe.
197
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,840
This is one of the safest
buildings on the planet.
198
00:08:58,879 --> 00:09:00,720
I just don't want
anyone tripping over them
199
00:09:00,759 --> 00:09:03,639
and risk hurting the arrangement.
200
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:06,440
Do you mind if we
have a word in private?
201
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,480
- Evelyn.
- But I only just sat down.
202
00:09:08,519 --> 00:09:09,799
You've been sitting down all day.
203
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,840
- Yeah, but not like this.
- Please?
204
00:09:11,879 --> 00:09:13,440
Ohh...
205
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,759
Thank you.
206
00:09:17,799 --> 00:09:19,639
Can I just say, for the first 6 months,
207
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:22,279
I had no idea you two
were mother and daughter.
208
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,759
Well, I try not to make
209
00:09:23,799 --> 00:09:25,720
too much of a song and dance about it.
210
00:09:25,759 --> 00:09:27,080
No. I completely get it.
211
00:09:27,119 --> 00:09:28,960
I'd be the same if I were your daughter.
212
00:09:28,999 --> 00:09:31,240
What can I do for you?
213
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,039
Well, given I saved Britain last week...
214
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,560
you're welcome... did
Jonesy mention anything
215
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,639
about the NSA dropping
the case against me,
216
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,799
you know, that whole
election-fraud thing?
217
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,560
I thought you liked it here.
218
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,919
Oh, no. Don't get me wrong.
219
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,119
I love it here, and I adore your outfit.
220
00:09:48,159 --> 00:09:50,720
I'm just thinking,
hypothetically, if I managed
221
00:09:50,759 --> 00:09:53,119
to track down these Russian dudes,
222
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,879
surely, that would paint
me in a better light, right?
223
00:09:55,919 --> 00:09:58,960
We'll just have to wait and see.
224
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,960
Any news about who might have leaked
225
00:10:00,999 --> 00:10:03,519
the NSA intel in the first place?
226
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:04,879
No, but I've been professionally
227
00:10:04,919 --> 00:10:07,159
interrogating people since I was 9.
228
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,999
Mary, I swear to God,
this is your last chance.
229
00:10:10,039 --> 00:10:12,639
Are you working for the Russians?
230
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,519
- No.
- Right. That's it.
231
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,039
I want to waterboard
her. Mary, get up here.
232
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,639
Tuva, are you recording all this?
233
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,240
Oh, fuck yeah.
234
00:10:20,279 --> 00:10:21,919
OK. No. Turn around. You got to face me.
235
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,440
This isn't an enema. This is serious.
236
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,320
Now lie down flat.
237
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,360
No, face up. Mary, flip over.
238
00:10:30,399 --> 00:10:32,560
Joseph... you know what?
yeah, hold her down.
239
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,279
Now, who has a towel?
240
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,600
OK. Sorry.
241
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,200
OK, so the options are lovely,
little bunny rabbit one;
242
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,720
one from the local school;
or just a plain, gingham one,
243
00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,200
but I don't know if it's clean.
244
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,480
Give me that.
245
00:10:48,519 --> 00:10:50,680
- You see the rabbit?
- Shut up.
246
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,159
OK. Mary, where's your mouth?
247
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,680
- Uh, in here.
- OK. Do we have any water?
248
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,200
I got some Sprite you can use.
249
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,840
No. I don't think
it'll work with Sprite.
250
00:10:57,879 --> 00:10:59,840
- It blows me up.
- Shut up, Mary!
251
00:10:59,879 --> 00:11:02,240
- Is there water in the flowers?
- Do not touch the flowers!
252
00:11:02,279 --> 00:11:04,879
- My God.
- Yeah.
253
00:11:04,919 --> 00:11:06,399
So where do you want this?
254
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,600
OK. You know what? Get up here.
255
00:11:07,639 --> 00:11:09,200
- Oh, my God.
- All right.
256
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,039
You want to position
it over her mouth, OK?
257
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,440
- Yeah.
- OK.
258
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,720
What the fuck are you doing?
259
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,440
I'm so sorry, Jerry.
260
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,879
It's just really difficult
trying to keep it upright.
261
00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:20,560
It's supposed to get on her.
262
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,119
I'm being serious, Mary.
This is your last chance.
263
00:11:24,159 --> 00:11:25,799
OK.
264
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,279
And I'm aiming for the mouth, yeah?
265
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,440
Just pour it on the rabbit.
266
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,680
Here we go.
267
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,680
- What? Are you kidding?
- So sorry, Jerry.
268
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,600
- I'm sorry. That's not clean.
- Goddamn it.
269
00:11:34,639 --> 00:11:36,680
What? God... All right. You know what?
270
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,440
I'm gonna... OK. Are you good?
271
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:40,999
- You're good?
- Yeah.
272
00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,879
Go for it. Wait. Let
me just adjust your...
273
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:45,840
- Gah! OK! Are you kidding?
- Jerry, I'm so sorry.
274
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,279
What the hell's going on?
275
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:48,840
Oh, hey, Chris.
276
00:11:48,879 --> 00:11:51,039
I was just teaching the
gang interrogation techniques
277
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,680
in case we find a mole.
278
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,360
But Mary is a mole.
279
00:11:55,399 --> 00:11:57,759
- What?
- Sorry.
280
00:12:02,919 --> 00:12:04,360
OK. I'm sure you've all
got lots of questions.
281
00:12:04,399 --> 00:12:05,840
Chris, you got to let me handle this.
282
00:12:05,879 --> 00:12:07,279
Absolutely not. Sit down.
283
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,600
I just need you all
to listen. It's true.
284
00:12:09,639 --> 00:12:11,399
For a few weeks now,
Mary's position here
285
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,680
has been compromised...
286
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,999
Son of a bitch! Aah!
287
00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:19,240
But only because her
mother has been captured
288
00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:21,519
by the Russian mob responsible
for last week's attack
289
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,720
and who have been blackmailing
Mary for inside intel.
290
00:12:24,759 --> 00:12:26,519
Well, I'm very sorry to hear that.
291
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,840
I thought your mom passed away.
292
00:12:28,879 --> 00:12:30,480
Oh, so did I.
293
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,960
Hello?
294
00:12:38,999 --> 00:12:42,159
I'm ever so sorry. Your mother's, um...
295
00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:44,519
passed away.
296
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:47,960
So your mom's still alive?
297
00:12:47,999 --> 00:12:50,200
Yes, but now they keep threatening
298
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,640
to send one of her
fingers through the post.
299
00:12:52,779 --> 00:12:54,279
Why? What's wrong with her fingers?
300
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,639
Fortunately...
301
00:12:58,119 --> 00:13:01,999
Fortunately, Mary had the
foresight to buy us some time
302
00:13:02,039 --> 00:13:04,639
by sending the Russians
a lot of false leads.
303
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,960
So Mary's now a double agent?
304
00:13:06,999 --> 00:13:08,560
Technically, she's a triple agent.
305
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,399
That's right, so we think
she's working for us.
306
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,919
The Russian thinks
she's working for them,
307
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,399
but really, she's
working for someone else.
308
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,919
- No. She's just working for us.
- Right. Good.
309
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,639
How's that different from
that she was doing before?
310
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:19,879
Because the Russians believe
311
00:13:19,919 --> 00:13:21,320
she's now working for them.
312
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:22,879
That's just two things, isn't it?
313
00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:24,399
Listen. All you need to know
314
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,200
is that we are keeping
Mary's cover a secret
315
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,639
so that we can continue to
feed the Russians false intel
316
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,560
and, in doing so, hopefully,
317
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,360
prevent a future Eternal Blue attack.
318
00:13:33,399 --> 00:13:35,680
Plus, I must admit, it's quite nice
319
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,560
for me and Quentin to have
a bit of space from Mum, too.
320
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,399
Oh, so you and Quentin still...
321
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,560
Yes, every night.
322
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,519
Yeah, baby. What stage you at?
323
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:45,840
- Please don't...
- 63.
324
00:13:45,879 --> 00:13:48,039
Answer that.
325
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,799
Is that...
326
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,480
- Forward.
- Aagh!
327
00:13:55,519 --> 00:13:57,440
- Uh!
- Ugh! Die!
328
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,919
- Nice shot, soldier.
- Targets are coming.
329
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,680
- Cover me. Hah!
- Take that.
330
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,039
- Get down.
- Take cover. Reloading.
331
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,999
You're fucking kidding me.
332
00:14:08,039 --> 00:14:10,080
- Ugh...
- Game over.
333
00:14:10,119 --> 00:14:11,119
Fuck.
334
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,480
- Tuva, I just want to say...
- They weren't from me.
335
00:14:15,519 --> 00:14:17,240
No. Sure.
336
00:14:17,279 --> 00:14:19,159
I'm just double-checking with
everyone I've ever, you know...
337
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,999
Disappointed?
338
00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:23,039
So do you get paid more for
being a triple agent, then?
339
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,600
No, but I am trying to
negotiate more holiday.
340
00:14:26,639 --> 00:14:27,879
Oh, right,
341
00:14:27,919 --> 00:14:29,080
and the Russians are
all right with that?
342
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,840
No. They were very angry.
343
00:14:30,879 --> 00:14:32,639
You know I had a friend who started off
344
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:36,919
as a triple agent but then went
on to become an octuple agent
345
00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,399
almost overnight.
346
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,680
So who did that mean they
were working for in the end?
347
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,279
Well, they thought that we thought
348
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:49,639
that they thought that we
thought that they thought
349
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:53,879
that... that... that we... that...
350
00:14:53,919 --> 00:14:57,039
You know, I got to get
some water for these.
351
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,279
Hey, how's it going?
352
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,240
So do you want to go out for
a drink tonight, then, or what?
353
00:15:07,279 --> 00:15:11,480
I mean, that's not why I came
to see you, but, yeah, I'm down.
354
00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:13,320
I'll call you back.
355
00:15:14,919 --> 00:15:19,159
Jerry Bernstein, NSA. It's Honey, right?
356
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:24,320
So I just wanted to warn you
about this guy I'm working with.
357
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,879
You might have seen
him scampering around.
358
00:15:26,919 --> 00:15:30,560
He's a tiny, little guy,
kind of like a Cinnamon Santa,
359
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,159
I mean in terms of disposition, not...
360
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,879
Anyway, I was just
wondering how this works.
361
00:15:37,919 --> 00:15:41,279
If he came to you with
a sample of handwriting,
362
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,080
how quickly would you be able
to work out that it was mine?
363
00:15:44,119 --> 00:15:45,840
So you're telling me it's yours.
364
00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:48,799
No. No. I was just
saying that as an example.
365
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,320
Like, would it help if I provided you
366
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,639
with a sample of my handwriting
first just to rule me out?
367
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,919
Not if I already know it's yours.
368
00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:01,840
Now... sure, but ignoring that...
369
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:05,039
I wish I'd never said it...
how can I help you avoid
370
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,399
coming up with a false conclusion?
371
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,680
I'd need to know a bit
more info on your background
372
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,680
and see a sample of your handwriting.
373
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,119
Absolutely. That's what I thought.
374
00:16:31,039 --> 00:16:34,039
Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late.
Couldn't fit in the elevator.
375
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,639
Jerry, just wanted to congratulate you
376
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,080
on the Hinkley Point success last week.
377
00:16:39,119 --> 00:16:40,960
- Great work.
- Thanks, Rupert.
378
00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:43,240
I can't believe we've
never met in the flesh.
379
00:16:43,279 --> 00:16:45,480
Well, I have been in
theater these past few weeks.
380
00:16:45,519 --> 00:16:46,999
Oh, great. What show?
381
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:50,080
No. I was in a pony-riding accident.
382
00:16:50,119 --> 00:16:52,799
Well, either way, I'm
sure it was fantastic.
383
00:16:54,519 --> 00:16:56,799
Who's the lucky lady or fella?
384
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,720
Yeah, right. Right.
385
00:16:59,759 --> 00:17:02,440
I mean... I mean,
right. Right. Right on.
386
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,839
I'm actually in touch
with thousands of women,
387
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,680
so... who knows? it could
be from any or all of them.
388
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,880
Just like a tomb of the unknown soldier.
389
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,759
I don't really understand the reference,
390
00:17:11,799 --> 00:17:13,400
but yes, absolutely.
391
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,079
Thank you.
392
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,039
Um, hi. Jerry, do you
mind if I have a quick...
393
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,759
We're busy. What is it?
394
00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:23,920
Oh, you know, it's fine.
I didn't know that you...
395
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,079
Don't be silly. We're all equals here.
396
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:27,920
- You know, I really should...
- Come on.
397
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,999
- Only if you're sure.
- Of course.
398
00:17:30,039 --> 00:17:31,759
We even get paid the same.
399
00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:34,839
- Seriously?
- No. I earn a lot more.
400
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,480
What do you want?
401
00:17:36,519 --> 00:17:38,839
Oh, um...
402
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,279
What do I want?
403
00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:44,519
Well, I...
404
00:17:44,559 --> 00:17:47,920
I had some handwriting analysis done
405
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,559
on the Valentine's Day
card that I received.
406
00:17:51,599 --> 00:17:52,920
What?
407
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,759
Sorry. Let me get this straight.
408
00:17:54,799 --> 00:17:58,759
You've been using GCHQ resources
funded by the UK taxpayer
409
00:17:58,799 --> 00:18:01,400
to find out who sent you
a Valentine's Day card?
410
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,079
In my defense, that is exactly why
411
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,079
I didn't want to say
it in front of you all.
412
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,680
And?
413
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,599
Oh. Well...
414
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,680
No. That's not important.
415
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,519
Shall we continue with
our high-profile meeting?
416
00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:16,200
Hang on. You were saying?
417
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,880
Well, actually, it
turned out that it's...
418
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,680
- D'oh! Aagh!
- Oh, my God, what's wrong?
419
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,599
- Oww...
- Jerry, what's wrong?
420
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,319
- Ooh...
- What's wrong?
421
00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:25,839
Joseph, could you go...
could you go... Could you go?
422
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,279
Oh, for heaven's sake, Jerry.
423
00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:29,839
OK. Look. I just did it to cheer him up.
424
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,799
- It doesn't mean anything.
- What do you mean?
425
00:18:31,839 --> 00:18:33,880
- So it was from you.
- Why?
426
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,559
- They used to be married.
- Oh.
427
00:18:35,599 --> 00:18:37,559
Isn't that what the
handwriting analysis showed?
428
00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:40,999
No. I was about to say the
results were inconclusive.
429
00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:43,839
Oh, sorry. No. That's what I meant.
430
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,999
I mean, could've been
from anyone. Who...
431
00:18:46,039 --> 00:18:48,920
It could've been Chris,
could've been Rupert.
432
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,519
Well, I've never met him before, but...
433
00:18:52,319 --> 00:18:54,160
You swore on my life
that it wasn't from you.
434
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,839
Eh, don't worry about it, buddy.
435
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,279
It doesn't mean you're
actually gonna die.
436
00:18:57,319 --> 00:18:59,400
- I'm sorry about this.
- No. This is fun.
437
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:00,799
I thought you'd be pleased.
438
00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:01,920
Yeah, only because you told me
439
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,240
it definitely wasn't from you.
440
00:19:03,279 --> 00:19:04,960
Oh, well, thank you very much.
441
00:19:04,999 --> 00:19:06,240
What else was I meant to believe, Jerry?
442
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,680
I don't know, maybe that
443
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,079
your mother sent it out of sympathy.
444
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,599
Well, she died 20 years ago.
445
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:11,680
Maybe she postdated it. Look.
446
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,279
I'll make it up to you, OK?
447
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,160
I'll take you out to
dinner, somewhere real fancy.
448
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,680
You'll take me out for
dinner on Valentine's Day?
449
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,880
Well, no, obviously not tonight.
450
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,480
- I've got plans.
- I don't.
451
00:19:20,519 --> 00:19:22,400
But you'll take me out
at some point, right?
452
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,880
Yes, but not because I sent
you a Valentine's Day card.
453
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,480
But you did send me a
Valentine's Day card.
454
00:19:26,519 --> 00:19:28,240
Yeah, because I wanted
you to feel special.
455
00:19:28,279 --> 00:19:29,720
I'll feel special when
you take me out for dinner.
456
00:19:29,759 --> 00:19:31,839
Why don't you take him out now?
457
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,079
This meeting is over.
458
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,519
Mm.
459
00:19:35,559 --> 00:19:39,200
Have you been wearing
that all this time?
460
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,319
- Good night, Jacinda.
- Good night.
461
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,799
- Joseph...
- Yes?
462
00:19:50,839 --> 00:19:52,359
It pains me to have to say this,
463
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,519
but I'm seriously starting
to call into question
464
00:19:54,559 --> 00:19:57,120
your position here at GCHQ.
465
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,880
Do you understand?
466
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,319
Yes. Yeah, absolutely, and listen.
467
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,240
I just wanted to let
you know I'm well aware
468
00:20:03,279 --> 00:20:05,839
that we keep having these kind
of conversations every week now,
469
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,880
but I promise you,
it won't happen again.
470
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,960
It better not.
471
00:20:09,999 --> 00:20:13,079
At least Valentine's
Day is only once a year.
472
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,440
This is your final warning.
473
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,640
- Do you hear?
- Yeah.
474
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,160
Handwriting analysis.
475
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:24,640
I mean, who else did
you think it was from?
476
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,279
Princess Jasmine.
477
00:20:34,799 --> 00:20:36,720
Hmm.
478
00:20:40,799 --> 00:20:43,079
- Hi, Ma.
- Hi, sweetie.
479
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,999
- Happy Valentine's Day.
- You, too.
480
00:20:46,039 --> 00:20:48,359
Did you get my flowers?
481
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:55,640
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